Alex Rodriguez said he spent many restless nights thinking about his decision to use performance-enhancing drugs.
In an interview with Joe Buck on the Audience Network show Undeniable to air on Oct. 18, Rodriguez said: “I remember sitting there at night at maybe 4 or 5 o’clock in the morning — I probably did this a hundred nights — and I would look up with tears and say, ‘How the ‘F’ did I get myself in this position? I’m the only jackass that has pocket aces and figures out a way to lose the hand.”
Rodriguez, a 14-time All-Star, was suspended for the entire 2014 season for violating MLB’s performance-enhancing drugs policy. He said his use of the drugs might have cost him a place in the Hall of Fame, among other things.
“There’s so many frustrating things when you look back at that,” Rodriguez said. “Number one, you have a guaranteed contract for hundreds of millions of dollars. Literally, you can sit on the couch and get fat. Right? How stupid can you be? … This thing cost me over $40 million. And it cost me my reputation, and it may have cost me the Hall of Fame and a number of other things.”
The three-time American League MVP, who now works as a studio analyst during Fox Sports’ baseball coverage, said he used the drugs to manage chronic back pain and because of a desire to boost his batting statistics.
Rodriguez said the toughest part of the situation was telling his daughters.
“The hardest thing I had to do, I had to admit to Natasha and Ella the mistake that I made,” Rodriguez said. “And I needed [ex-wife Cynthia Scurtis] to be part of that. I told Cynthia, ‘When I sit down with the girls, they’re gonna be listening to me, but they’re gonna be looking at you, and chances are I’m not gonna make it past first base because I’m gonna probably start breaking down.’ And sure enough, I almost didn’t get out of home plate.”
Rodriguez retired as a player following the 2016 season. He finished his 22-year career (spent with the New York Yankees, Texas Rangers Rangers and Seattle Mariners) with 696 home runs, fourth-most in MLB history. Rodriguez spent 2017 as a special adviser with the Yankees.
According to spotrac.com, Rodriguez earned about $437 million in career earnings.